The Longitude of Dogs

A Powder of Sympathy: Where the heck are we? Folks have been asking that question since well before F Troop. When The Holy One, Blessed Be He, asks us that question, the correct and most favored Biblical response has always been

Or, in its most recent and bravest iteration -

But where, exactly is here?

Way back in the Olden Days, Abq Jew recalls (see May 2017's Walking to Jerusalem), one could only find out where he was by a) asking for directions, which men (even then) never did; or by b) checking his good old Astrolabe (not, as it turns out, a Labe invented in Houston).

But as useful as an Astrolabe is (the sextant is even better), it could only determine one's north- or southiness from the Equator. 

Which is to say - one's latitude.

But how about one's longitude - one's east- or westiness from ... well from somewhere? As Abq Jew has pointed out - 

How hard? So hard that the British government established the Board of Longitude in 1714. Which issued a statement and announced a contest - with considerable prize money - to the first person who could figure out how to measure longitude at sea.

There were several attempts, and several different solutions offered. But it turned out that (Abq Jew is skipping the technical details here) the best way to figure east- or westiness required that the ship's navigator know exactly what time it was in the home port (or, eventually, in Greenwich). 

As compared with the [solar] time aboard ship.

Easy today. Back then, impossible. Clocks just weren't accurate enough, losing copious immeasurable seconds and minutes every day. What to do?

Rely on a dog - man's best friend. In this case - an injured, wounded dog. And on an ancient, pseudoscientific form of tele-medicine. As explained in New World Exploration -

One bizarre suggestion for telling time at home port was the wounded dog technique. This method depended on a miraculous substance called “powder of sympathy.” 

This mysterious powder was able to heal wounds from any distance merely by applying it to a piece of bandage that had been on an injured person. 

The important element of the procedure was that the patient felt a sharp pain at the moment the powder came in contact with a bandage that had touched the wound.    

Applying this strange phenomenon to finding latitude would require having a wounded dog on board every ship. 

Supposedly when the clock in London struck noon, someone there would dip bandages from all the dogs in the sympathy powder and the wounded dogs on ships anywhere in the world would yelp in pain, signaling that it was then noon in London. 

If a  ship’s navigator could then determine the solar time aboard ship he could calculate longitude. 

Even if the preposterous notion of sympathy powder were valid, the method would require a wounded dog on each ship and a person to dip many pieces of bandage in the powder at noon each day. Furthermore the poor dog’s wound would have to be kept open so the system could continue working. 

Fortunately this idea was never really taken seriously by anyone as no one could produce the powder of sympathy.

Longitude was eventually solved, the prize money was awarded, the health and well-being of our beloved and useful canine companions was preserved. 

All because clocks, aka chronometers, became way more accurate. Which leads us to the question -

On one hand - nothing. North- and southiness has - for us Jews - been solved. We Jews have always centered our maps on God, Torah, and - as must be stated these days - the Land of Israel. Jerusalem is now and has throughout history been our North Star.

But on the other hand - everything. It's the east- and westiness of the world and its religions, cultures, and politics that we Jews still struggle with - to understand and deal with them.

American Jews (in particular) have veered to the left of the political spectrum since we got here. But we now find that our formerly liberal friends are too "liberal" to support Jewish people and values.

Some American Jews have found solace in the politics of the right. But our new, conservative, Israel-supporting friends too often veer to the far right, antisemitic corners of the political spectrum.

So where the heck are we?

Stuck in the middle - with Jews.