Five Down, Two to Go

Yontif Yontif Yontif: Two days of the Rosh Hashanah that everyone wants to forget - except that it got us into 5781, which surely must be better than 5780, at least the last few months of it. 

One fast day of Yom Kippur, when we granted The Holy One, Blessed Be He, forgiveness. Two days of Sukkot, the Season of Our Joy. Oy.

And yet we have a feeling something isn't quite right.

As Abq Jew writes this, it is still Sukkot, the Festival of Booths.

To be superseded this weekend by Shemini Atzeret, the mystery holiday no one knows what to do with. And Simchat Torah, which, this year, will involve virtual celebration, as we await Rebbe Nachman's seventh beggar (the legless dancer, for those who are following along).

Yes, this is still The Season of Our Joy. 

And, although it seems that the Ship of State has hit the sand -

Who knew it would happen the way it did?

Fortunately, as every Jew who has seen Fiddler On The Roof knows, there is an appropriate blessing for President Trump as he (and his doctors) do battle with Covid-19.

May G-d bless and keep the president...
far away from us.

Or, as another sage has so aptly put it -

May the president have a long recovery.

Which brings us to the one and only

Danny K Bernstein

No, not the actor who played Tevye in the 2015 Broadway revival. Just a very talented guy who writes parodies about our nation's leaders and (lehavdil) full-length musicals. You can follow him on Instagram at @dannykbernstagram.

Anyway, Danny has written a delightful and meaningful parody of Tevye's Dream. Which, if by some chance, you don't recall, goes like this:

Here are Danny's new words:

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Donald!!! Donaaaaaaaaaaaald!!!!!!

What is this about your senate rushing my replacement??

COMPANY:

Her replacement!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Would you do this even after blocking Merrick Garland?

COMPANY:

Merrick Garland!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Have you no consideration for my dying wishes??

COMPANY:

Dying wishes!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Naming my successor right-wing Amy Coney Barrett

COMPANY:

Coney Barrett.

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

How can you allow it? How?

How can you let that woman take my place?

Sit on that bench?

Roll back our rights?

And wear my robes, robes, how!!!

Even such a dope as Donald wouldn't let it happen!!

COMPANY:

Let it happen!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Tell me that it isn't done and that I shouldn't haunt you.

COMPANY:

Shouldn't haunt you!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Say your stupid senate won't confirm your nomination!

COMPANY:

Nomination!!!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

Let me tell you what will follow such a fatal hearing.

COMPANY:

Fatal hearing!

FRUMA RUTH BADER GINSBURG:

If Donald's nomination stands,

I pity you ALL!

I'll be dead for TWO WEEKS, and when TWO weeks are up,

I will come to you by night,

with viruses in tow,

and YOU will be infected,

SHE will be infected,

THEY will be infected!

*laughter*

Here's my final ruling 

if you try to screw my COURT!!!!!

Which brings us to 

Sasha Sanderovich

No, not the one you're thinking of. Abq Jew refers to the Assistant Professor in the Slavic Department, the Stroum Center for Jewish Studies, and the Jackson School of International Studies at the University of Washington in Seattle.

Anyway, on the occasion of #TrumpHasCovid, Sasha reminds us of an old Soviet Jewish joke.

Every morning, for days and weeks on end, Rabinovich stands in line to the newspaper kiosk, asks the clerk for the day’s copy of Pravda, looks at the front page, and then returns the paper without buying. 

"Comrade Rabinovich,” the kiosk clerk finally asks. “What are you looking for every day?”

“An obituary.”

“But the obituaries are printed on the last page,

not the front page!”

“The obituary I’m looking for will be on the front page.”

Lots of people have said that it was Mark Twain (shown here with Shania) who famously said (although he probably didn't)

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have
read some obituaries with great pleasure."

Which brings us to

Mandy Patinkin & Kathryn Grody

Yes, him. Or he. Mandy tells us that his "glorious AF wife Kathryn" helped with his latest campaign video. And, he continues -

Whatever the polls say,
 we have to stay calm and resolute in this fight,
giving whatever time, money, and power we can. 

Get active to get out the vote TODAY at www.thelastweekends.org/doit
#GOTV #createtheoutcome #VOTE.

Abq Jew would like to take a moment to remind you, his loyal readers, that Abq Jew LLC is not a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and may therefore promote political candidates and issues.

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