Your Father's Accountant: No, Bob Newhart, now of blessed memory, was not your father's accountant, nor was he Abq Jew's father's accountant. But he could have been, even though he was not a MOT.
He was not an accountant - because, he explained, when working as such after his US Army service in the Korean War, his motto,
"That's close enough"
and his habit of adjusting petty cash imbalances with his own money showed that he lacked the proper temperament.
Nor did he become a lawyer - because, he explained, he had been asked to "behave unethically" during a college internship.
Anyway - Bob Newhart eventually became a comedian, known for his deadpan and stammering delivery style. And, of course, for his routines involved hearing half of a conversation as he spoke to someone on the phone.
Here, to preserve his memory. are three (3) of Bob Newhart's best, as previously reported in this very Abq Jew Blog.
1. USS Codfish (March 2019's Wherever You Go)
The monologue sorta begins:
Men, I know you are all anxious to be reunited with your loved ones... in some cases your wives... but we have a few moments before we surface and I've just jotted down some things that I think are kind of important, I wouldn't take the time if I didn't.
First of all, I think we ought to give the cooks a standing ovation for the wonderful job they've done. So, if you men want to stand now and let's really hear it for the cooks.
I don't think you men realize the difficult problem it is aboard a submarine to... uh... you men want to stand now for the cooks ?
Come on now men, let's let by-gones be by-gones and let's hear it for the cooks, huh?
Look men, I'm not going to surface until I hear it for the cooks!!!
Alright, that is a little better ...
You can watch the entire monologue right here. You're welcome!
The episode starts when Bob balks at going to spend the holiday with Emily's family at a reunion. He'd rather stay home, he insists.
But Bob's loneliness gets the better of him, and he spends Turkey Day with Howard, Jerry, and even Mr. Carlin - drinking, watching football, drinking, avoiding playing games, and drinking. Their drunkenness culminates with a now classic scene in which Bob stammers his way though placing a phone order for Chinese food.
If you're so old that you can't remember, or if you came of age after The Bob Newhart Show, this interview with Bob about Moo Goo Gai Pan sets up the scene (and gives some of it away).
So, here is the scene that even TV critics say may be the best American sitcom scene ever.
3. Bob Hartley's Dream (January 2021's The End of a Very Bad Dream)
It has recently come to Abq Jew's attention that some people - even people of a certain age - have no remembrance of this dream at all. You need a background in sit-com history to fully appreciate this. So here goes.
The Bob Newhart Show
The Bob Newhart Show is an American sitcom television series that aired on CBS from September 16, 1972, to April 1, 1978.
The show centers on Robert "Bob" Hartley, Ph.D. (Newhart), a Chicago psychologist. Most activity occurs between his work and home life, with his supportive, although occasionally sarcastic, wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette), and their friendly but pesty neighbor, airline navigator Howard Borden (Bill Daily).
The medical building where Bob's psychology practice is located also houses Jerry Robinson, D.D.S. (Peter Bonerz), an orthodontist whose office is on the same floor, and their receptionist, Carol Kester (Marcia Wallace), as well as a number of other somewhat eccentric doctors who appear occasionally.
Newhart
Newhart is an American sitcom television series that aired on CBS from October 25, 1982, to May 21, 1990.
The series stars Bob Newhart and Mary Frann as an author and his wife, respectively, who own and operate an inn in a small, rural Vermont town that is home to many eccentric characters.
TV Guide, TV Land, and A&E named the Newhart series finale as one of the most memorable in television history.
Newhart Series Finale
The series finale of Newhart, titled "The Last Newhart", has been described as one of the most memorable in television history.
The entire town is purchased by a visiting Japanese tycoon, who turns the hamlet into an enormous golf course and recreation resort. Dick and Joanna are the only townspeople who refuse to leave. The others accept million-dollar payoffs and leave in a farewell scene that parodies Fiddler on the Roof.
Five years later, Dick and Joanna continue to run the Stratford Inn, which is now located in the middle of the golf course. The other townspeople, now richer and older, unexpectedly return for a reunion.
The Darryl brothers also speak for the first time on screen, loudly yelling "Quiet!" at their wives in unison. Dick gets frustrated with the increasingly chaotic scene, and storms out shouting "You're all crazy!", only to be knocked out by an errantly struck golf ball.
The Last Scene
The setting of the last scene is nighttime, in the bedroom of Dr. Bob Hartley (The Bob Newhart Show; see above) and his wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette).
Bob awakens, upset, and he wakes Emily to tell her about the very strange dream he has just had: that he was an innkeeper in a small Vermont town filled with eccentric characters and married to a beautiful blonde.
Emily (slightly upset about hearing Bob's dream dalliance with "a beautiful blonde") tells him "that settles it—no more Japanese food before bed."
Here is the long (10:32) version of that Finale.
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